Nice! :rofl:

So a Muslim, a cowboy, and an indian are in a bar...

The Indian raises his glass....." First there were many, and now there are few ".

The Muslim raise his glass and says, " first there were few, now there are many".

The Cowboy raises his glass, " we ain't played cowboy's and Muslims yet"..:cheers:

:thumbsup: :D

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.

The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Where can I donate?!?!! LOL:cheers:

Olde but a goodie


A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and
help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out
how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then
turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not
going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have
a nice cup of tea, and then ..."

He sighed.........

..... "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."

__________________

^^^^^:thumbsup:
Now how do I get all the coffee I just spit out, off my monitor.

Alaska
 

Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise, it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00.'

'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks
Thank you.'

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.'

'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'.

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too'

'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks again.'

'More 'n likely be some wild sex, too,'

'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'

'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.'
:willy:

Funny stuff, thanks for the laughs!:lol: