@patsajak:

"Note to trick-or-treaters: my electrified fence will be deactivated between 5 and 9 tonight."


#hasalawyeronretainer

@patsajak:

"My time management skills are improving. I've been an hour early to everything the last couple of days."


#wonderifVannalaughedatthistweet

@patsajak:

"You used to call me on my, you used to, you used to, yeah, you used to call me on my cell phone."

#thatsgonnabeahit

:lol:


@patsajak:

"To avoid confusion, beginning tonight Vanna and I will be introduced as the hearts of the show. Hope this helps."

#twittersbetteridea

:shakehead:

@patsajak:

"Russian activist offering 5,000 rubles to 1st person who yells, "Этот балет действительно ужасно!" at Bolshoi ballet."

(via google translator...'This ballet is really terrible.')


lol

@patsajak:

"The Bill O'Reilly/George Will Celebrity Tennis Tournament has been postponed. No makeup dates have been announced."


lol

:catfight:

@patsajak:

"Happy Veterans Day to all my fellow vets and their families, with deepest appreciation."


:military: :flag2:

@patsajak:

"Wheel fun fact: Vanna and I left show 3 years ago, but still receive fees from use of our computer-generated images."


lol

@patsajak:

"On this Friday the 13th, I laugh at large hotels that don't have a 13th floor. They do. It's called the 14th floor."


#thatswhyhemakesthebiggbux

@patsajak:

"In new TV popularity poll, I finished just behind my cardboard cutout. Thanks to all who voted."

@patsajak:

"Taping "Wheel" today. Except for some occasional coded language from Vanna, it's my safe space."

lol


"Weather Channel has goofy policy of naming winter storms. Bad enough to shovel snow; now you have to shovel Bella."

#buckleupkitten