The .357 and 9mm do not have the knock down power like the .40 or .45. If you want to knock them on there rear you want the .45. But depending on the barrel length and the gun a .45 is tougher to handle. So if your wife/gf could potentially use it then you'll need to take that into consideration. But in all likelyhood if you shoot at an intruder with anything they will run. I am in the markey for a 4" .40 and thats what I would recommend. A smaller person can handle it and they still have good power behind it. If you are wanting to use more than a home defense weapon I would get a .357 or 9mm because the .357 revolver you can shoot a .38 or .380 (not sure which one) out of the same gun and that makes it cheaper also the 9mm rounds are cheap to target shoot. Hope this helps and sorry for such a long answer!
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