Man I though alot about this subject last night after I read this whole thing...and what I would do. Tough situation to be in...
Yes, you should feel some sympathy for the other kid...he probably has a crappy home life etc etc, but he's not your problem. You wont be able to change that his parents or his home life. Your priority is your son. Hopefully your actions will start the ball rolling to check on the home life of this kid, but its still not your problem.
Despite everyone wishes and high goals, schools cant solve these problems. Schools cant solve crappy parents and a crappy home life. They have hundreds of kids to deal with and minimal resources. I think alot of crappy parents just use the school as a daycare to babysit the kids and expect them to "raise them" and teach them whats "right and wrong". If you dont have good parents, that rarely happens.
I'm still of the same opinion....go through the right channels...document everything up the ying yang. I'd tell the school and all the admin that if this continues that you have given your son the "green light" to beat the tar out of this kid. Either they take care of it or your son will be forced to defend himself, end of story. If you have everything documented and the whole school system is aware of whats going on, your son should be fine if he has to do whats necessary. They have been warned and its all in writing.
Moving this kid to another class wont change anything if this kid is gunning for your son. You mentioned that some of the incidents have taken place on the playground, in the lunchroom etc etc. At best it will make the kid target some other poor kid in the other class and probably still your son during the "open season" parts of school.
Yes it would suck that you may have to let your son use violence to solve a problem at 5 years old, but if you do the right thing, talk to him in depth about doing things the right way....trying to walk away, let it go, the kid has problems etc etc...... but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. Its a good lesson to not let other people push you around....both emotionally and physically.
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