1. I work in a lug nut factory measuring thread tolerances.
2. I solve problems. People have problems. I solve them.
3. I'm involved in a start-up specializing in a new line of gourmet dishes prepared from human flesh.
4. I'm involved in another start-up specializing in prostitute time shares.
5. I do a little trading in kitty litter futures.
6. I'm President of the local chapter of the Tourette's Syndrome chapter mother%&*#er mmm err sh*t!
7. I nearly lost my shirt in midget farming, but luckily a few turned out to be mongoloids so I sold them to the circus and got out of the biz, breaking even.
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