Originally Posted by Ron in SoCal
(Dedicated to Lenie!)
(Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?
(Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers
stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your
exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
(Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by
the end of November. But I can help you.
(Customer) Thanks, I ordered a "Spring Bouquet" for our anniversary,
and wanted it delivered to my wife.
(Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, "Spring Bouquets" do not meet our
minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
(Customer) But I have always ordered "Spring Bouquets", done it for
years, my wife likes them.
(Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love
them.
(Customer) Well, how much are they?
(Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or
Platinum package.
(Customer) What's the difference?
(Receptionist) 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.
(Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
(Receptionist) It depends sir, what is you monthly income?
(Customer) What does that have to do with anything?
(Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy,
then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be.
But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can
refer you to our FlowerAid department.
(Customer) FlowerAid?
(Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a Right, everyone has a right to
flowers. So, if you can't afford them, then the government will supply them
free of charge.
(Customer) Who said they were a Right?
(Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the
Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
(Customer) Whoa.....I don't remember seeing anything in the
Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.
(Receptionist) It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but
ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a
"Tax". Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.
(Customer) I don't believe this...
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most
people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income
sir?
(Customer) Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
(Receptionist) In that case sir, I will still need your monthly
income.
(Customer) Why?
(Receptionist) To determine what your 'non-participation' cost would
be.
(Customer) WHAT? Your can't charge me for NOT buying flowers!
(Receptionist) It's the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme
Court. It's $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.....
(Customer - interrupting) This is ridiculous, I'll pay the $9.50..
(Receptionist) Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income,
whichever is greater.
(Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!!
(Receptionist) Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be
2%.
(Customer) Look, I'm going to call my Congressman to find out what's
going on here. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to pay it.
(Receptionist) Sorry to hear that sir, that's why I had the NSA track
this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are
using.
(Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM
USING?
(Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates sir
(Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
(Receptionist) That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling
ObamaFlowers, have a nice day...and God Bless America.
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