I was inspired by Payton's post and decided to do an experiment to see if I could swing a dead cat, without hitting a 69 camaro at my house. Not having access to an actual dead cat, I had to substitute the next best thing, our Himalayan cat, Chato. (I'm told that Chato, roughly translated from Spanish means, "ugly, pushed-in, flat face")
Chato has a pulse rate of about 5 beats per minute. Himalayan, in his case, means, "Him-a-layin around all day". The results of the swinging trials were as follows:
Trial# Result
1 Struck front frame rail of 67 ElCamino pro-street chassis
2 Struck tail pan of Green 69 Camaro 327/Auto car (Success!)
3 Struck right front tire of 94 GMC Yukon
4 Struck door handle and qtr window of Gold 69 Camaro (Success!)
5 Struck windsheild of red 66 Mustang
6 Trial aborted, no vehicles hit, had to recapture Chato
7 Struck lower front fender extension of Gold 69 Camaro (Success!)
8 Struck jackstand
9 Struck mailbox
10 Trial Aborted, getting strange looks from mailman
So the trials would indicate that while it is indeed possible to swing a "dead" cat without hitting a 69 camaro, you will probably still hit one about 30% of the time. Some might argue that trials #6 and #10 are inadmissable to the data set, since a real dead cat would not have required recapture, and the mailman may not have cared, if the cat used for the testing was actually dead.
Disclaimer: The above events are fiction. No animals were harmed in this experiment. Your mileage may vary. Symptoms may include dizzyness, nosebleed, or sore throat. Patients taking anabolic steroids or selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, should not swing dead cats.
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