My best advice...don't have any more kids!
I've got a 2005 now and really like it. It's quieter and feels more solid then the 99 we had a few years ago. Both equipped with the 4.7 V8, power everything and a small lift. With both my boys, the dog and wife packed for a trip we were out of room, roof top cargo deal solves that problem.
If your kids are still in car seats and a third is a strong possibility, I'd be looking at the early/mid 90's Land Cruiser/Lexus. Inexpensive, solid front axle and more room front and back. A lot of these were never abused off-road and were second or third vehicles so the mileage isn't all that bad for the age.