Been about another month now..... and in my current world.... that's a long time.
People continue to ask "how am I".... and frankly -- I really just don't know. Some days are great some days suck.... some start off crappy and get better and some are the opposite. This morning when I got up at 5:30AM to let Stella and Rosie out.... I said to Gwen "I feel 100% today"..... by 10AM I said "I might have jumped the gun".
To be perfectly honest -- I have a drive out to Cali to the track with the new car... and instead of looking forward to it - I'm kinda starting to ask myself "why". But then.... I'll get out there and get jacked up - and then I'll fall apart. My point - when you have this crap -- and I'm pretty sure it's still there -- you just don't know hour by hour how you're going to feel.
Some times I wonder if I'm not just "depressed" after battling this crap for 2 years now. And other times I think -- ARE YOU KIDDING! I'VE BEEN WINNING FOR 2 YEARS so WTF.
Taking a 3/10th's dose of CBD only - every night (early evening) - and I get up every day and put my shoes on. My plan is to continue to do so.... until I can't.
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