Post one major goal for 2014 and how you plan to get there?
I'll start....
My biggest goal from 2014 is to become MODERATELY OPTIMISTIC. It's no secret that I've studied personal development extremely hard since mid 2012. The psychological posts don't seem to gain the steam the nutrition/fitness posts do but it's just as crucial to your health. Mental AND Physical.
I just finished my second book specifically on happiness and optimism.
http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimi...arned+optimism I've gotten to the point where things have leveled off. I've made some major positive changes in my life and succeeded in achieving big goals. All my studies lead me down the optimism road to grab the next rung on the ladder. I must rewire my brain to become a more optimistic person.
I'm sure you are thinking, how the hell is this guy going to become more optimistic?
First of all, you can grow up to be optimistic or pessimistic and it's largely based on your influences as a child. The greatest influence is your mother and her EXPLANATORY style. That means how good and bad events are explained. The 2nd is teachers and other parents, followed by bad events. To find out how optimistic or pessimistic you are, take this test:
http://www.stanford.edu/class/msande...earnedOpt.html What I found is that I'm Moderately Pessimistic. I need to move up two levels this year to get where I want to be which is Moderately Optimistic. After taking the test, analyzing the results, and reading the entire book, it makes perfect sense to me.
I found:
I'm Optimistic when it comes to bouncing back from the bad/negativity.
I'm Optimistic when it comes to letting the bad/negative effect that specific part of my life. Meaning, I don't let a bad day at work, keep me from working out.
My HOPE score was optimistic. I believe in my future.
I'm Pessimistic in how I explain bad/negative events. My tendency is to take on responsibility which isn't warranted. That is partially due to my leadership training and feeling it's the right thing in some instances but the balance bar is out of whack.
I'm pessimistic in how I explain the good/wins. I give others to much credit for my wins.
I'm pessimistic in how I celebrate my good/wins. I barely trip over my success and major goals obtained. My tendency is to not enjoy them nearly enough.
The moral of the story is I had no idea what made someone optimistic or pessimistic to this degree.
For instance:
You do exceptionally well in a job interview:
Pessimistic: I felt extremely confident during the interview.
Optimistic: I interview well.
In this case you are giving yourself credit that day versus overall.
You have a wonderful time at a party:
Pessimistic: Everyone was friendly.
Optimistic: I was friendly.
You give credit to others vs yourself.
You run for community office and lose:
Pessimistic: I didn't campaign hard enough.
Optimistic: The person who won knew more people.
You take on the blame when it was hopefully out of your control and did the best you could.
These are just a few examples and clearly it gets much deeper than this...
Facts about Optimists:
Believe setbacks are temporary and confined to one case.
They believe defeat is not their fault. (Blame circumstanced, others, etc when warranted)
Take a bad situation perceive it as a challenge and try harder as a result.
They live longer on average.
They have less sickness.
They make better use of opportunities.
They bounce back faster from adversity.
Over 50 major companies use a similar test to above to hire.
See the world through rose colored glasses.
Pessimists:
Tend to suffer from depression more often.
Tend to believe bad events will last a long time and undermine everything they do, and it's their fault.
See the world realistically. (To realistically)
Take on excess personal responsibility.
Have less faith and hope.
Tend to be wiser overall....
Now, there are instances where pessimism still rules. Companies must have some moderate pessimists to keep the balance. The marketing and sales department are optimists and the cpa is pessimistic.
However, in general you are better off being on the optimistic side of the equation for countless reasons. This book is interesting because they were able to predict almost every presidential election in the last 80 years, sports championships, on down the line using EXPLANTORY style and analyzing video tape and newspapers. Even certain religions are more optimistic than others and it does have a major effect.
To change, you must figure out your tendencies from the test above and change your EXPLANATORY style.
You can fight the bad/negative thoughts by disputing them between your ears. One of the major points I got from the book is your own negative thoughts are no different than criticism from a stranger. Fight fire with fire. You must dispute your own tendencies by finding a positive explanation. What it comes down to is the art of learning to talk to yourself in an optimistic approach.
You can also employ the distraction technique. If you just can't let go of a negative circumstance, schedule a time later to think it over so it takes a back seat. You can also distract yourself numerous ways.
The whole premise of the book is to employ "Learned Optimism". It's a major tool at your option that you can choose to employ with judgment. There will still be times when you should be a pessimist. However, a majority of the time, you can choose Optimism, you just need to know how.