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Old 01-22-2010, 07:25 PM
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Default School bully issue, opinions wanted

Ok guys, here is the scoop. My son is almost 6 and goes to an all day kidergarten program at the elementary near us. Since shortly after the start of the school year he has been the target of another kid in his class. This kid throws toys, rocks, books, punches him in the face, kicks him and pushes him down on the playground. This kid also calls him names and says mean things to my son.
This has all been documented by me and the teacher. She (teacher) has confronted the parents a few times without any change. I have been assured by the staff at the school that my son is in no way instigating any of this himself. Yesterday he got hit in the head with a book that was thrown like a frisbee. This alone could have done serious damage to his eye (hit right above it).
I have talked to the teacher, principal and today the district office directly to the principals boss. I really feel like this kid should have been pulled out of this class a long time ago and that the principal is not doing anything to fix this problem.
I made it clear today that if they do not remove this other kid from class that I will make it a legal issue for the district on Monday.
the school has a zero tolerance policy about bullies but has not enforced it at all. I feel like they don't take my sons well being seriously. I am NOT going to wait for a more serious injury to react to this. But I feel like they are.

Now before you say my son should defend himself, he knows that responding with voilence is not the right way to handle this. He does go to martial arts class 4 days a week and could wax the floor with this kid but is mature enough to know not to. Trust me, it would take all of 25 seconds for my son to resolve this on his own. But I do not want to teach him to respond like this unless it is a real emergency and he has no other choice.

So I guess my question is besides going to the district and demanding a fix for this, what else can I do? I could go to the kids house and react poorly on his parents, but that only teaches my son that the violence is ok. If he was a lot older I would encourage him to take care of it himself, but he should not be faced with that crap at his age.
I told the district office that the next step will be a legal one. I also told them that this other kid obviously needs help of some sort. 5 year olds don't do this stuff without learning it at home first.

So thoughts on how to handle this? Has anyone else dealt with anything similar in a public school? How did you handle it?

Thanks for any input. I need this resolved NOW for my sons sake.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:28 PM
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What about having one of the kids moved into a different class.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:32 PM
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I raised 3 boys. As much as I hate to say it, if he kicks that kids ass in front of everyone, he will probably get suspended, but won't have to worry about this stuff ANYMORE! If he continues to handle this through "the system". there is another bully waiting where this one left off.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:37 PM
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The kid going to another class was my first suggestion to the school. Why it has not happened I don't know. I refuse to have my own kid uprooted and moved away from his teacher and friends because the other kid makes it a hostile environment. The other kid needs to go.
But I will find out on Monday Todd.

Frank,
I would LOVE to have him handle it himself. BUT, not yet at this age. If he were just a few years older then great. I would turn him loose on the kid. Right now I want him to understand that all other resources need to be tried first, then kick the hell out of the kid. He can and he knows it. He is actually afraid of hurting the kid. It's just not the response I want him to learn out of the gate. But I do agree with you, he should. I just can not encourage him to do that ...yet.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:40 PM
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Somebody just posted about this very subject on yellowbullet the other day
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Autokraft View Post
Somebody just posted about this very subject on yellowbullet the other day
That sucks! It was not me. It makes me sick to think that kids these days are like this. At 5 years old everything should be fun and games, innocent, safe. Not like this.

Someday my son will understand and take matters into his own hands, but not yet. I hope. I am trying to teach him right, and so far so good. I don't want this to get worse though.

I could only hope to meet this kids parents behind closed doors....they are the real issue behind this kids troubles.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:46 PM
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invite the kid to your sons martial arts classes...sounds like the sport might teach him some discipline that school and his family cant
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:46 PM
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I haven't had this problem yet. My daughter is 3yr 7 months, son is 7 months.
I understand how you are feeling about your son fighting back, I dont want my kids getting into fights. I was bullied when I was young, a few guys would think it was funny to push me around and charge after me when I was young. My mom did a lot of talking to parents, teachers, principles.... The parents disciplined there kids. I remember it getting worse. One day I lost it and put them both on there azzes. Once the kids realized I wasn't going to be a push over they stopped. Years later, we became friends.
Im not telling you what to do, just sharing personal experience.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:54 PM
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I have to agree, if the school can't handle it then it's time for him to stand up for himself in one form or another. Back when I was in Kindergarden they would paddle your ass. I still remember the principal taking kids out in the hall. All this political bologna put an end to it and this is what the educators are left with. Princiapals should still have that power IMO. Parents that could care less about there kids and their behavior are not to rare now. I hear about it all the time. Kelli is a 1st grade teacher.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CNDbowtie View Post
invite the kid to your sons martial arts classes...sounds like the sport might teach him some discipline that school and his family cant
Good idea. Then my son could teach him some manners.


Someday he will have to fend for himself, I am very aware of that. But not at 5 years old. Like I said, if he were older I would fully encourage he take this kid to the ground with a roundhouse kick to the head. Just not yet.

I am still looking for a solution through the proper channels. If this makes it worse, I will escalate the issue one on one with the father of this kid. My way. I am fully aware of the kind of world we live in. But right now my son depends on me to protect him and I will not let him down.

I am wondering if anyone else has had to deal with a school or district on this issue or level before.
If it comes to kicking some ass, then game on. I am all in. But would rather exhaust all other avenues first. It will keep me out of jail longer.
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