Because I am a man...add one if you see fit.
 

BECAUSE I AM A MAN

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then talk about women and break wind as a form of bonding.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator) . . applies to engineers mainly.

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards . . . then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest . . . like looking for my socks, or like wandering around in the garden wondering what to do.

Because I'm a man, I'M driving--even if we take your car. And if we get lost we will NOT stop to ask for directions.

No. That about covers it. Except for:

Because I'm a man, I'M driving--even if we take your car. And if we get lost we will NOT stop to ask for directions.

Added, LOL. good one.

actually....

because im a man, we are never actually lost, we are just taking the scenic route in order to look for hidden car treasure until we see something that looks familar, and helps us find our way to the original destination.

Because I am a man, if I HAD a feminine side... I'd be touching it all the time...

Sounds like the Madonna episode of Beavis and Butthead. :rofl:

LOL Good ones :lol: .

Because I am a Man, I am not required to know how to cook anything that can not be cooked in a microwave or on a grill.

David

Because I'm a Man, I'll leave the toilet seat up. :yes:

Because I'm a Man, "Pull my finger" jokes never get old. ;)



Randy

Because I am a man, I can diagnose any "noise" you describe that your car is making as "normal".

Because I am a man, I will get upset when I hear your making odd noises, and wonder why you didn't tell me about it.

I was instructed that I needed to post a rebuttal. :_paranoid