[XcYZ]

I was instructed that I needed to post a rebuttal.

Because I am a woman, I need to spend 20 minutes outlining my lips before I put on lipstick. *I need all this makeup so that other women will think I am naturally pretty. *Deal with it.

Because I am a woman, I will get up at 6:30 in the morning to go shopping if the store is having a sale. It doesn't matter that I don't need any new clothes, they are on SALE and therefore must belong to me. Fork over your credit card, darling.

Because I am a woman, I need many shoes. I need work shoes, dress shoes, three kinds of athletic shoes, sandals, slippers, open-toed shoes, high-heeled shoes, mid-heeled shoes, low-heeled shoes, flats, and boots. I need shoes in every color of the rainbow to match my extensive wardrobe. This is non-negotiable.

Because I am a woman I will get annoyed if you come to me and announce that there is no food in the house. In all likelihood there is plenty of food. I am not falling for the trick and making you a sandwich. However, I will stand in front of my full closet and complain that I have nothing to wear. This is not the same thing.

Because I am a woman, I will spend hours on the phone with my friends. Even if I just saw my best friend today, I need to call and tell her who is on Oprah. Especially if it is George Clooney.

Because I am a woman I will talk about you to my friends. We will discuss your underwear, your bathroom habits, your mother and your childhood. However, if you even mention our relationship to your friends, I will get angry.
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Because I am a woman, I need to talk about "the relationship". I think about "the relationship" far more than you do. I will pick the worst possible time ( 2 minutes left in Game 7 of the NBA playoffs) and tell you, "Honey, we need to talk". If you ask to wait until the game is over, you will find yourself sleeping on the couch.

Because I am a woman, I will have mood swings. PMS is a medical condition. So, when I scream at you and call you an SOB, and then cry and want to cuddle within an hour, I am not crazy. I am a woman.

Because I am a woman, I have strange eating habits. I will order only salad on our first date, and lobster after we are married. I will buy candy bars and wash them down with diet soda. I will put artificial sweetener in my double mocha latte. And any food eaten while cooking does not count as food.

Because I am a woman, I expect to have "girls night out" once in awhile. If you want to go bowling with the boys, I will pout and ask why you don't want to be with me. I will then assume that there is a problem with "the relationship" and will want to talk about it before you leave.

Because I am a woman, I will ask you how I look. Lie of you hate my outfit, hair or shoes. You’ll sleep better that night. Trust me.

Because I am a woman, I will make you dinners, do your laundry, clean your house and raise your kids. Various payment methods for those services are available. Jewelry and vacations are among the most popular.

Because I am a woman, I know there is no truth in the fact that you will die if you don’t have sex tonight. Go to sleep. If you’re still alive tomorrow, you will know that I, once again, was right and you were wrong!