Funny Story about a long hospital stay.

[Ummgawa]

I was physically run over by a 1987 Jeep CJ-5 on June 6th, 1990. I was looking over some old paperwork from "back in the day" and came across what I hope will make you laugh.

I was in the Hospital for 23 month 2 weeks 4 days three hours 26 minutes. During that stay I was always in a private room due to the extent of my injuries. Bad stuff, I tell ya. He was going 45 mph and I was going maybe 3 mph. HE WON...LOL.

On one of the stretches in the hospital. my phone in my room rang and it was someone from, of all things, a collection agency. This woman (sorry T), whom we will agree was a bitch (being nice here), was starting to really hammer me about a 13 week stay where one particular day the insurance company decided it was only going to pay for a semi-private room.

Don't ask me why. I guess if an insurance drops a million plus dollars on you they reserve the right to screw with you at will.

Back to the story. She and I went back and forth about how she demanded I pay the difference (about 39 dollars) OR ELSE. I told her that I was in the hospital and I was sure that I could get 39 bones for all the hemostats I had pilfered over the past 19 months. Basically I was screwing with her at that point, and she finally started to get it. Needless to say, she got really pissed. Finally she DEMANDED that I pay the difference or , as she put it, "I'd be sorry".

I stayed calm the entire time and it just pissed her off even more.

Finally, and here is where it gets funny, she said: "I now know why you won't deal with me on this issue...."

"I'm game, tell me why, in your infinite wisdom, won't I deal with you on this issue?...."

She stumbled "It's, it's, it's a DICK THING"

Moment of silence, I reply " A dick thing, hmmmm,.... Let me think on that for a minute..."

She replied, "I have figured it out. It's a dick thing. I don't have a dick, so you are not going to deal with me on this matter."

Pregnant pause.

I reply, "Maam, you have helped me today. I have just learned something about myself. It is indeed a Dick thing, as you put it, and I have a solution."

"What?" she replied with a small sense of hope in her voice.

"I am going to have to speak to someone with a dick. Please have someone from you office with a dick to give me a call..."

She screamed and hung up. Never heard from her or her outfit again.

[tones2SS]

That is pretty funny!!! lollll...

[rwhite692]

That is awesome, Jim. Reminds me of a story a buddy of mine told me.

He kept getting calls from a bill collector who had him confused with someone else (He had the same first and last name of the person that the collector was interested in, and the same middle intitial, but a different middle name).

The guy was relentless with the calls and would not accept that he was dealing with the wrong person.

Finally my buddy says, "Ok, alright, what is your address, so I can send in a check..."

Guy gives him the address. It is halfway across the country.

My buddy asks him if that is where he is calling from, and he says "Yeah, why?"

My buddy says, "Well, I just need to know, because, after I hang up with you, I'm driving to the hardware store, I'm buying a hickory axe handle, I'm driving to the airport, I'm buying a plane ticket, and I'm coming to get you".

He never heard another word about it.

[radrambler]

GREAT STUFF..

TOM

[69MyWay]

You should have asked her if Richard Cranium worked there...and if he would get on the phone.

This reminds me, of one time I was in the hospital. I was having an appendicitis rupture.

Anybody that has gone through this knows it is painful.

So...there I am puking in pain and they send in a georgeous brunette with a tight skirt...heels, make up...big hair....and all the stuff.

I'm in the gown, with all nature exposed and thinking I'm getting ready to give birth or something to some kind of imaculant conception invisible child.

I'm thinking she is either an angel and I'm getting ready to die (Man...heaven is looking good)...or a nurse (nice new hospital dress code!) bringing some much needed pain relief...or both.

Nope....she came in, introduced herself to me...and started asking me questions about my hospital stay for customer service survey!

Talk about bad timing!