Dear god : from a dog

[intocarss]

Dear god : Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one other ?


Dear god : When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch ? Or is it still the same old story ?


Dear god: are there mailmen in heaven ? If so, will i have to apologize ?


Dear god : Why are there cars named after jaguars, cougars, mustangs, and rabbits but not one named after a dog ? When is the last time you saw a cougar riding around in a car ? We love to ride in cars. Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle, the Chrysler Beagle ?


Dear god : Let me make a sort list of some of the things i must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not munch on leftovers in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
3. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
4. I will not play tug of war with dads underwear while he is sitting on the toilet.
5. Sticking my nose in someones crotch is a unacceptable way of saying "hello".
6. The cat is not a "squeak toy " so when he makes that noise it is not a good thing.
7. I will not roll on dead seagulls,fish, crabs. etc, just because i like the way they smell.
8. The sofa is not a "face towel "
9. I must remember the garbage man is not "stealing our stuff".
10. I must shake the rain water off my fur before entering the house, not after.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the family room and lick my crotch.
12. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.


And finally my last question:
Dear god: When i get to heaven, could i have my testicles back ?