Tuesday funny...beating Jim to the punch

[Payton King]

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a
Washington State University chemistry mid-term. The answer by one
student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues,
via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their
beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it
is compressed) or some variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me
by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept
with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of
this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is
not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"