School bully issue, opinions wanted - Lateral-g Forums

70rs · #1 01-22-2010, 05:25 PM

Ok guys, here is the scoop. My son is almost 6 and goes to an all day kidergarten program at the elementary near us. Since shortly after the start of the school year he has been the target of another kid in his class. This kid throws toys, rocks, books, punches him in the face, kicks him and pushes him down on the playground. This kid also calls him names and says mean things to my son.
This has all been documented by me and the teacher. She (teacher) has confronted the parents a few times without any change. I have been assured by the staff at the school that my son is in no way instigating any of this himself. Yesterday he got hit in the head with a book that was thrown like a frisbee. This alone could have done serious damage to his eye (hit right above it).
I have talked to the teacher, principal and today the district office directly to the principals boss. I really feel like this kid should have been pulled out of this class a long time ago and that the principal is not doing anything to fix this problem.
I made it clear today that if they do not remove this other kid from class that I will make it a legal issue for the district on Monday.
the school has a zero tolerance policy about bullies but has not enforced it at all. I feel like they don't take my sons well being seriously. I am NOT going to wait for a more serious injury to react to this. But I feel like they are.

Now before you say my son should defend himself, he knows that responding with voilence is not the right way to handle this. He does go to martial arts class 4 days a week and could wax the floor with this kid but is mature enough to know not to. Trust me, it would take all of 25 seconds for my son to resolve this on his own. But I do not want to teach him to respond like this unless it is a real emergency and he has no other choice.

So I guess my question is besides going to the district and demanding a fix for this, what else can I do? I could go to the kids house and react poorly on his parents, but that only teaches my son that the violence is ok. If he was a lot older I would encourage him to take care of it himself, but he should not be faced with that crap at his age.
I told the district office that the next step will be a legal one. I also told them that this other kid obviously needs help of some sort. 5 year olds don't do this stuff without learning it at home first.

So thoughts on how to handle this? Has anyone else dealt with anything similar in a public school? How did you handle it?

Thanks for any input. I need this resolved NOW for my sons sake.

Vegas69 · #2 01-22-2010, 05:28 PM

What about having one of the kids moved into a different class.

Sunkistcamaro · #3 01-22-2010, 05:46 PM

I haven't had this problem yet. My daughter is 3yr 7 months, son is 7 months.
I understand how you are feeling about your son fighting back, I dont want my kids getting into fights. I was bullied when I was young, a few guys would think it was funny to push me around and charge after me when I was young. My mom did a lot of talking to parents, teachers, principles.... The parents disciplined there kids. I remember it getting worse. One day I lost it and put them both on there azzes. Once the kids realized I wasn't going to be a push over they stopped. Years later, we became friends.
Im not telling you what to do, just sharing personal experience.

Vegas69 · #4 01-22-2010, 05:54 PM

I have to agree, if the school can't handle it then it's time for him to stand up for himself in one form or another. Back when I was in Kindergarden they would paddle your ass. I still remember the principal taking kids out in the hall. All this political bologna put an end to it and this is what the educators are left with. Princiapals should still have that power IMO. Parents that could care less about there kids and their behavior are not to rare now. I hear about it all the time. Kelli is a 1st grade teacher.

70rs · #5 01-22-2010, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegas69

I have to agree, if the school can't handle it then it's time for him to stand up for himself in one form or another. Back when I was in Kindergarden they would paddle your ass. I still remember the principal taking kids out in the hall. All this political bologna put an end to it and this is what the educators are left with. Princiapals should still have that power IMO. Parents that could care less about there kids and their behavior are not to rare now. I hear about it all the time. Kelli is a 1st grade teacher.

I agree Todd. I wish the schools had more leverage with the kids. I remember getting my ass whacked more than once in school.

I bet Kelli sees it all huh?

The bottom line is that if he NEEDS to he will. And when that happens I will back him up 110% with whatever trouble he gets into.

There are some STELLAR examples of bad parents around here. (where I live that is)

Mkelcy · #6 01-22-2010, 06:11 PM

File suit against the parents, the principal and the school district on Monday. The complaint doesn't need to be fancy, it doesn't even need to withstand a demurrer. All it needs to do is to get their attention. Have the complaint served on Monday, by a process server, in person, at the school - make sure you sue and serve the principal personally and make sure you allege that he/she has willfully failed to follow district policy. It'll cost you a little to prepare the complaint and to have it personally served, but you want shock and awe.

DO NOT encourage or allow you son to kick the bejeesus out of the other kid. That will only muddy the record, and may expose you and your kid to a world of hurt. The "parents" of the other kid are clearly not suitable to be rearing young, and will only seize on any retaliation to pursue a claim against you.

awr68 · #7 01-22-2010, 06:07 PM

Give Brenden a high-5 for me...he's acting very mature for his age!

It's up to the school and school district to do the right thing here! Hopefully early next week the other kid is moved to a differant class room and the parents get a good talking to! And hopefully they don't share recess time after the kid moves class rooms...at that point if it continues then I guess Brenden needs to 'fix it' himself...just tell him to hold back on the kid!

I stood up to the neighborhood bully when I was around 12 yrs old, he never gave me crap again and we have been real good friends since!

Best of luck with this!!

BonzoHansen · #8 01-22-2010, 06:13 PM

School Superintendent is next step, then Board of Ed President. Use the word lawsuit liberally. Keep your notes together.

Too bad, if your boy whacks bully kid with a book or kicks him in the jewels your boy will get in trouble. I bet his parents know the word lawsuit. Funny correlation there.

ProdigyCustoms · #9 01-22-2010, 05:32 PM

I raised 3 boys. As much as I hate to say it, if he kicks that kids ass in front of everyone, he will probably get suspended, but won't have to worry about this stuff ANYMORE! If he continues to handle this through "the system". there is another bully waiting where this one left off.

70rs · #10 01-22-2010, 05:37 PM

The kid going to another class was my first suggestion to the school. Why it has not happened I don't know. I refuse to have my own kid uprooted and moved away from his teacher and friends because the other kid makes it a hostile environment. The other kid needs to go.
But I will find out on Monday Todd.

Frank,
I would LOVE to have him handle it himself. BUT, not yet at this age. If he were just a few years older then great. I would turn him loose on the kid. Right now I want him to understand that all other resources need to be tried first, then kick the hell out of the kid. He can and he knows it. He is actually afraid of hurting the kid. It's just not the response I want him to learn out of the gate. But I do agree with you, he should. I just can not encourage him to do that ...yet.