It's Friday....

[Ummgawa]

A dude is sitting in a bar when a gorgeous Brunette built like a Brick $hithouse walks in and sits next to him. Thy strike up a conversation and he finally asks her what kind of Guys turn her on. She sez she really likes American Indians, Jews and Rednecks. She finally asks him his name and he sez:

"Me?"

"My name is Tonto Weinstein but my friends call me Bubba."

[HAULNSS]

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his
mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast till the chores are done.

Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a
chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the
pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast, and his mother
gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my
cereal?" he asks."
Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any
eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig,so you don't get any bacon for a
week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting
any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway
across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother and with a smile says: "Are you going
to tell him, or should I ?



Randy

[HAULNSS]

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?



Ask your mother.

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What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?



Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

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Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?



The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

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Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?



The one who can eat the last donut without using her hands.

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The three words men hate to hear most during sex:



"Are you in?"

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The three words women hate to hear most during sex:



"Honey, I'm home!"


Happy Friday!