So did any of you know you could die while trying to loose weight? I almost did the other night. If for some reason I had been recording myself I could have made a bunch of money with about 2million hits on youtube by now.
A little back story my shop is pretty infested with brown spiders. I'm not sure what kind of spiders they are. I call them "path" spiders because every where I walk the damn things have made another web in my path. Other than being annoyed they do not really bother me and I am not scared of spiders.
So I was cruising along at a good clip on the elliptical. I happened to notice one of my spider friends about 10 feet away. I don't know what spiders talk about to each other but I know for sure there is some sort of communication.(more on this later)
So this spider catches my attention and I start watching him making a web from the 69' Camaro to the roof. Up and down up and down. I am watching this obvious diversion going on when the spider gives the signal to his partner. You see while I was watching the first spider was making his web another spider that was in on the conspiracy must have been told I had killed a few hundred of his ancestors over the years and they had put a hit out on me. The second spider dropped from the ceiling above me and stopped 3 inches in front of my nose. Now as I said before I am not scared of spiders but I don't think I have ever been sneak attacked by one. Maybe I am a little more afraid than I though I was because my reaction was to step and move back. This was not the best split second decision I have ever made since I was basically running in place at the time.
I don't know exactly what happened next (that would have helped to have video) but trying to stay in an upright position was a challenge to say the least. Their plan is that I would fall to my demise spitting my head open on the concrete floor. I did foil their plan because there was a 78 Silverado only a foot or so away. I can attest the mirror on the door will hold all of my falling weight.
I have not completely planned my retaliation but when I do I'm going in fast and hard.