Friday Funny

[Ummgawa]

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

[HAULNSS]

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.

We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."

So the dentist asked him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him...




Randy

[HAULNSS]

A milkman was making his deliveries and found a note attached to a customers door saying, "I need 45 gallons of milk."

He knocked on the door and a beautiful dumb blonde answered it.

"Is this a mistake?" the milkman asked.

"No," she said, "I was watching a talk show and it said that bathing in milk is a good aphrodisiac."

"Really," replied the milkman, "Do you want that pasteurized?"

"No, up to my tits would be fine," she said.






Randy