School bully issue, opinions wanted

[70rs]

Thanks guys. I hope they get it figured out for everyones sake. I will keep you posted on what happens.


I would encourage anyone having any issues with a school to read up on your state laws. You will be amazed at what is considered a crime and how easy it is for the school, parents and students to break them without even knowing it.
Protect your kids but also protect your self and your assets.

[DRJDVM's '69]

I sure hope it all works the way they say it will and its not alot of "blowing smoke up your ass" to get you to "go away".

I sure hope the kid gets what he needs....but the school cant fix him. Without the back up of good parents, everything the school does will likely fail. I hope I'm wrong on that....

Good luck....

[70rs]

Originally Posted by DRJDVM's '69

I sure hope it all works the way they say it will and its not alot of "blowing smoke up your ass" to get you to "go away".

I sure hope the kid gets what he needs....but the school cant fix him. Without the back up of good parents, everything the school does will likely fail. I hope I'm wrong on that....

Good luck....

Thanks Ned. I hope they follow through too. For my son AND the other kid. It sounds like the other parents are not willing to help in any way and just don't want to be bothered by any of it. The school has their work cut out for them for sure.
The school knows I am watching everything very close and that I am not going away any time soon.

[comp-spec]

Eric,sorry bro... you are doing the right thing. your boy is still young

If it doesn't stop let your kid give him a bully beat down
then I would visit the father and talk to him with my flash light

[GregWeld]

I'm with Pete! LOL

I'm liken' the flash light beat down!

We'll visit you in prison! And they have the Internet!!

[70rs]

Originally Posted by GregWeld

I'm with Pete! LOL

I'm liken' the flash light beat down!

We'll visit you in prison! And they have the Internet!!

Great! I can still keep in touch with all of you guys. Sounds like a plan! LOL!!

[BBC69Camaro]

Originally Posted by Mkelcy

If your son is forced to act, that likely means that the school system hasn't acted. In which case the school system will likely defend its failure to protect your son by denying that there was ever an issue - leaving you and your son hanging.

Document everything, in writing, to the school system. Take pictures and send them along with your letters. Talk to other parents who have kids in your son's class, call CPS for the kid that's doing the bullying, hire a lawyer and sue the school system and the parents of the kid that's acting out - but in today's PC world, do not let your son retaliate.

x2, so if your son does end up having to defend himself you have enough ammo to fight the school's "cover their ass" reaction.

I think as long as you have some pictures and documention of trying to work this out with the school, I'd tell him its okay to stand up for himself. Ultimately I think Frank is right if you fix the problem he will get a rep for not standing up for himself. If he does fight back other bullies will hear of it and stay clear. Unfortunately this is how bullies operate and schools are more afraid of a lawsuit than actually fixing the problems.

[Edit] Just read your last post about the school trying to make some accommodations for you and your son, I hope it works out for the best. Good luck!

[70rs]

Originally Posted by BBC69Camaro

x2, so if your son does end up having to defend himself you have enough ammo to fight the school's "cover their ass" reaction.

I think as long as you have some pictures and documention of trying to work this out with the school, I'd tell him its okay to stand up for himself. Ultimately I think Frank is right if you fix the problem he will get a rep for not standing up for himself. If he does fight back other bullies will hear of it and stay clear. Unfortunately this is how bullies operate and schools are more afraid of a lawsuit than actually fixing the problems.

[Edit] Just read your last post about the school trying to make some accommodations for you and your son, I hope it works out for the best. Good luck!

Thanks fro the input Ed.
I do agree about letting him handle it himself and the need for that and how it will stop this in the future. But at 5 years old I am not too worried about the reputation thing taking hold. Next year and beyond yes, right now and it being his first time in school (public school system for full days) I need to coach him through it and take the high road.
I have all of this documented, dates, events, conversations, school nurse reports, phone records, teachers in class reports, playground supervisor reports, and a lot more. I am in a position to sue and win. But that is not the goal and I really do not want to take it there unless I have to. It's not about money and suing will not help anyone in the long run. It's about my son being safe and about the school doing the job they are obligated to do but are not doing at all. I would rather force everyone to buck up and perform. Sometimes it takes a lawsuit and loss of jobs and or money before that happens. I would rather resolve it before it gets to that level. But I am ready if need be.

[syborg tt]

Wow Eric life with kids is fun isn't it.

Okay so I can empathize and sympathize with this situation.

First off as a child I was always the smallest kid in the class but somehow I managed to be friends with everyone. Once and a while I would have a tuff time with a bully but it seems some of my bigger friends would always come to my aid. As time went the problems stopped and what I have learned I am teaching to my children (two girls 7 & 9 ). First off you need to be nice to everyone including your sister. My wife and I stand a very firm ground on this and it's if either one of my daughters or my daughters friends talk poorly to each other in our presence the playing stops till there is an apology.

This may sound strange but trust me I am the Dad that takes all the kids everywhere. Every Wednesday night you will find me at the local McDonalds with all the kids and some of the Moms. I have had as many as 8 kids by myself and I keep them all in check. You should see me on Halloween when I take 10 or 12 of them trick or treating.

So here is where we were in the same situation.

My oldest and one of the girls from school started having problems (no physical violence but trust me girls are brutal). We took the same approach you did but just one step further. We decided to arrange a play date with the little girl and my daughter so we could supervise there playing. This was pretty easy to set up since we try to meet all of the kids parents right from the get go. Trust me this works great and you will be doing this all the way through high school or till your kids leave the nest.

If you can somehow manage to meet with this child's parents and try to work this out where you can get your son and the bully together they might be able to become friends. In the end it will work to everyone's benefit and it may even help this kid become a better person.

It may sound like a lot of work but it's part of being a "Good Parent." Two benefits will come from this your son will not feel like you protecting him & the bully will end up having someone to look up to.

Ps - call me tonight if you want

[70rs]

Originally Posted by syborg tt

Wow Eric life with kids is fun isn't it.

Okay so I can empathize and sympathize with this situation.

First off as a child I was always the smallest kid in the class but somehow I managed to be friends with everyone. Once and a while I would have a tuff time with a bully but it seems some of my bigger friends would always come to my aid. As time went the problems stopped and what I have learned I am teaching to my children (two girls 7 & 9 ). First off you need to be nice to everyone including your sister. My wife and I stand a very firm ground on this and it's if either one of my daughters or my daughters friends talk poorly to each other in our presence the playing stops till there is an apology.

This may sound strange but trust me I am the Dad that takes all the kids everywhere. Every Wednesday night you will find me at the local McDonalds with all the kids and some of the Moms. I have had as many as 8 kids by myself and I keep them all in check. You should see me on Halloween when I take 10 or 12 of them trick or treating.

So here is where we were in the same situation.

My oldest and one of the girls from school started having problems (no physical violence but trust me girls are brutal). We took the same approach you did but just one step further. We decided to arrange a play date with the little girl and my daughter so we could supervise there playing. This was pretty easy to set up since we try to meet all of the kids parents right from the get go. Trust me this works great and you will be doing this all the way through high school or till your kids leave the nest.

If you can somehow manage to meet with this child's parents and try to work this out where you can get your son and the bully together they might be able to become friends. In the end it will work to everyone's benefit and it may even help this kid become a better person.

It may sound like a lot of work but it's part of being a "Good Parent." Two benefits will come from this your son will not feel like you protecting him & the bully will end up having someone to look up to.

Ps - call me tonight if you want

Thank you Marty. I can relate to the dad with the kids everywhere. I am him too.
I honestly had not even thought about what you suggested about getting the boys together like that. My focus has been on keeping them apart. But I sure can see where that would solve the issue and make a big difference in how they treat each other. My sons birthday is coming up soon, I will have to think about maybe inviting the other kid over if we do a party here. But then again maybe a meeting like that would be better one on one the first few times to establish a positive relationship first. (no other kids as distractions or influence).
I will give this some very serious consideration and talk it over with my wife as well.
I got your number, thanks again.